Darkness and light
by irishfanficgal
Summary: One shot! Contains, depressed Ally. CUTTING! Major character deaths. Auslly-ish angst. I apoligize I can't do summaries very but give it a chance? x


**Hey people! This is Angst, full stop. No hate because this was hard to write ok? Thank you xxx I love all you guys and those who self harm and are suicidal and depressed, I know it seems impossible right now but things do get better. Maybe not right away but trust me. I'm always here for anyone who needs it xxxxxxx**

Ally Dawson had never fit in that well. She was always the nerd, the one who enjoyed school. And she didn't mind that. Because she had Team Austin and Ally and that was enough for her. She was also madly in love with Austin, but that was never to be revealed. Then, Tilly, Brooke, Dallas and Trent came along and everything changed.

It started out with Austin and Trish and Dez cancelling plans with her to hang out with the populars. Then they simply started ignoring her. She stopped calling and texting them because she wanted to keep her dignity. She took comfort in her blade. Each night without fail, she would lock herself in her room and take out a single blade. _How could something so beautiful be so horrible_ she would think as she watched, with a sick fasanation, the blood run down her arm, drops landing on the ground. Like the tears she wouldn't let herself shed. Every night after the blood dried, she would say the same thing. "I didn't lose them, they were never there at all" she'd whisper. It was a never ending cycle.

It started as a regular day. Ally stood in front of the mirror, wearing nothing but a bra and underwear. Her ribs were painfully visible, and scars danced a complicated pattern on her arms and legs, some littered across her flat stomach. "You're so fat. No wonder people bully you. You deserve it" she'd hiss, crying at her reflection. She slid a pair of jeans and a long sleeve green shirt on and, although they were designed to be tight, they hung off her tiny frame. She sighed as she made sure none of her scars were visible. They were _hers,_ nobody could ever know. _The angel had a dark secret. But all secrets come out eventually._

She walked into History, her head buried in a book. She took her seat in the middle of the class. The teacher, Mrs Fletcher strode in and smiled at Ally. "Ally, how are you today" she smiled. "Fine, and you?" she asked politely. "The baby was up all night crying. Trust me you don't want kids for a while" Mrs Fletcher grinned as the class slowly began to file in. Soon everyone was in and Mrs Fletcher stood at the front of the room, looking around the class. "Let's begin. Open your books to page 124" she calls out and the rustle of pages is all that's heard.

The class flew by and soon enough the bell went signalling lunch. Ally walked slowly, she didn't want to eat. She walked to her locker and met Kira, who was as shy and nerdy as Ally and Cassidy who was more geeky than anyone. She smiled at her new best friends as they walked into the canteen, people sniggering as they walked by. "Ignore it" Ally advises. The other two nod. The populars were sitting at their usual table, right in the middle of thhe cafeteria, as a way to symbolise they were always to be centre of attention. Ally looks at the table as she sees Austin and Trish walk up to her. "Ally!" Trish calls. "What do you want" Cassidy snarls, and Ally sighs. Cassidy had serious anger issues. "Why the are you ignoring us?! WE're your friends not these geeks" Austin laughs cruelly. "No you WERE my friends until you ditched me but these two are my best friends and they are not geeks" Ally says fiercely and Cassidy and Kira beam at her. The two stare at her in shock.

"Why are you being such a bitch" Austin hisses. Ally just rolls her eyes, defending the last bit of dignity she had. "Answer him" Kira whispers. "You ditched me as a friend. YOU hired a new songwriter. YOU left me not the other way around, remember that" Ally says back, and she goes to leave but her sleeve catches onto a nail in the table and it rides up her arm, leaving her mutilated arm to be shown. Scars ran all over her arm, the words FAT and WORTHLESS carved in multiple times. Trish gasps. "Ally what have you done" she cries as Austin stares at Ally. Horror filled eyes all around the cafeteria were staring at her. "OOH LOOKS LIKE DORKSON GETS KNIFE HAPPY" Tilly shrieked out and the other populars laughed, except Dez who stood up. "You're sick" he spat. He walked over to the table the three stood frozen as Kira and Cassidy sat, tearing up at the pain their friend had been put through. "But Dallas and the guys said you were giving free blowjobs" Austin whispers. "And Tilly and the girls said you were talking about us behind our backs" Trish stutters. "And you believed them?!" she gasps, tears running down her face. "Ally we" they start but she cuts them off. "Don't bother" she sobs as she runs out of the cafeteria. She continues running and running until she gets to her house. Her father was at a music convention and her mom was in Asia working on her next book. "It's time" she says to herself standing up. _The angel was about to fall into the darkness around her, that had slowly consumed her soul until there was no light left at all. This time, however, nobody was there to catch our beautifully dark Angel._

Austin **runs** into Ally's house followed by Dez and Trish. "ALLY" he screamed in the most painfully broken voice. "No" he choked out, sobs loudly coming out of his mouth. Dez started crying, tears silently falling down his face while Trish all out wailed. "NOOO" she bawled at the sight in front of her. Ally was on the floor, blood covering the ground beneath her. In the middle of the floor, somehow untainted by the bright crimson of her blood, was a letter.

_Dear Austin, Trish and Dez,_

_I knew it would be you to find me. And I want to apoligize because I'm sure I left such a mess. The truth is, I couldn't handle it. High school with you guys was tough, but without you it was impossible. I don't want anyone to feel guilty. It was my choice not yours. Hate me in death as you have in life. Hate me as I hate myself. I'm sorry. I love you guys so much. Dez you were like a wacky older brother, Trish you were my sister and I swear I would do anything for the two of you. Austin, I may as well tell you now. I'm in love with you and have been since we first met. I'm sorry to burden you with those unwanted feelings but as long as I'm being honest here., I thought Hey it's an idea._

_Love always and forever,_

_Your Ally xxxxx_

_And so with that, the angel's light was extinguished. Austin Moon hung himself the day before the funeral with the short note of "I'm joining my love for eternity". Both Allyson Dawson and Austin Moon were buried together, in the same coffin so even in death, they would be together. But what you didn't know that the male angel had the same scars as our dark angel and his light was put out the moment she died. You see, they were each other's light and darkness and in the end, Darkness always wins._

**Sorry it's not the best! I can't write Angst because it hurts me to do so. I apoligize to anyone who doesn't like it. I'm sorry if it's too sad or not sad enough but it just hits home because a friend of mine's older brother commited suicide and I've also known people have have attempted it and I'm not going to lie here, I have too. But my friends brought me back from that dark place. And I love them for it. For those who are still in that dark place, You are the bravest warriors I know, because you are fighting inner demons and they never leave until you make them and many can't. I love you all! x**


End file.
